


Taste of Trust

by adrianna_m_scovill



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Communication, Feeder Kink, Food Kink, Light Angst, M/M, Mild Smut, Strawberries, Trust
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-24
Updated: 2020-01-24
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:20:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22385542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adrianna_m_scovill/pseuds/adrianna_m_scovill
Summary: The request was that the squad, while investigating a case of feederism, discovers that Barba and Carisi share a feeder kink - but I had to take some liberties with the prompt
Relationships: Rafael Barba/Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr.
Kudos: 58





	Taste of Trust

Barba shifted, eyeing the bowl of chocolate-covered strawberries. “Is something wrong?” he asked, forcing his gaze back to Carisi’s face.

Carisi was straddling Barba’s thighs while Barba sat propped against the headboard with two pillows fluffed behind his back. Both men were naked, but Carisi had been subdued all evening, all through dinner, and even now that they’d moved to the bedroom for dessert—usually the best part of what they almost-jokingly referred to as “date night,” a once-a-week event—he seemed listless and showed no signs of arousal.

“No, nothing’s wrong,” he said quietly. He picked up a strawberry and turned it around between his fingers, staring at it for a few seconds before raising it toward Barba’s lips.

Barba wanted it. He wanted to feel the crunch of the chocolate before his teeth sank into the soft berry, he wanted to taste the sweetness of the candy before the tarter juice of the fruit exploded on his tongue. He wanted to feel Carisi’s fingers at his lips, lingering as they held the strawberry. He wanted to feel the damp rag—Carisi always kept it draped over his own bare thigh to keep it warm—against his chin and chest as Carisi gently swiped away any drips of juice or crumbles of chocolate.

But Barba didn’t want any of it if Carisi’s heart wasn’t in the exchange. “Sonny,” he said.

Carisi met his eyes and pulled the berry back, letting his hand drop down to his leg. There was a small frown furrowing Carisi’s brow, and Barba felt a moment of real fear. With Carisi, he’d been honest in a way he’d never been before, he’d opened himself completely. They were honest with each other. Carisi made it easy for Barba to talk about his feelings, and he’d never had that in any relationship. He was terrified of losing it, of doing something to drive Carisi away.

“Talk to me,” he implored, laying a hand over Carisi’s arm.

“Raf, you know I love you, right?”

Barba swallowed, trying not to imagine the worst. “Yes.”

“You know I’d never hurt you?”

“Of course.”

“No, I mean…I’d never want to hurt you and if I did, you’d tell me…Right?”

“What’s this about?” Barba asked, although he was suddenly pretty sure he knew. “The Sellnack case?” he guessed.

“Did Liv say something to you?”

“She walked into the breakroom while you had your fingers in my mouth. It would’ve been impossible not to notice.”

Carisi dropped his gaze to Barba’s chest. “I didn’t think about it,” he muttered. “I said I was sorry—”

“And I said there was no reason to be sorry,” Barba cut in. “You picked up the chip and I opened my mouth. We were both acting on instinct.”

“Yeah, but it was embarrassing.”

“You know Liv doesn’t judge.”

“I know she prob’ly asked you about it. _Because_ of the Sellnack case.”

“She did.”

“Asked if I’m, like, abusive.”

Barba smiled in spite of the seriousness of the conversation. “She didn’t believe it, Sonny, but she had to ask. You know that. We both understand her position. And I told her you’re the least abusive person I’ve ever known in my life, which is true. And she believed me, because it’s true. But I don’t think Liv knowing about our kinks is what has you so upset.”

“Kinks,” Carisi murmured, frowning down at the strawberry in his hand.

“It’s just a word. If you don’t like it, I won’t use it.”

“Do you ever feel…”

Barba waited, but Carisi didn’t finish the question. “It’s not the same,” Barba said softly, rubbing Carisi’s arm.

Carisi took a breath and looked up at him. “Do you ever feel ashamed when we do this? Embarrassed, or…dirty, somehow?”

“No.” Barba hesitated. “Do you?”

Carisi shook his head. “I’m not the one—”

“It’s not the same,” Barba repeated. “We’ve talked about this. I’ve been honest with you, please tell me you know that.”

“I do, Raf, but maybe you’d be afraid to tell me something if you didn’t want to hurt my feelings, and Marty Sellnack was—”

“Being abused.”

“But he lied. To me, to Liv and Amanda, to everyone. He was ashamed to say—”

“Because he was a _victim_. You know that victims feel shame, or guilt, for things that aren’t their fault.”

“Their relationship was like ours.”

“No.”

“It was,” Carisi countered. His cheeks were flushed dark, but his expression was earnest. He laid a hand on Barba’s chest. “The…sexual gratification…” He paused and swallowed before pushing on: “From his husband feeding him. He said he felt it, too, that it was…arousing, having Tom feed him and clean him up…”

“You know he’s not responsible for his body’s reactions. His arousal doesn’t absolve Tom’s abuse.”

Carisi stared hard at him, trying to read his mind.

“Marty’s husband didn’t love him,” Barba said. “He wanted Marty to be dependent on him. He didn’t care about his health, physical or mental. You know that. You put Tom in prison for it.”

“Not for long enough. He would’ve killed him, eventually.”

“It would’ve been impossible to sell to a jury. You convinced him to take a plea and I am so proud of you.”

A small but genuine smile touched Carisi’s lips.

“Sonny. If I told you I never wanted to do this again, would you stop?”

“Of course.”

“Would you leave me?”

Carisi leaned closer instinctively. “No!”

“We have a good sex life, yes?”

“Yeah.”

“Is the sex better when we do this?”

“Better?” Carisi asked, his forehead wrinkling. “I wouldn’t say better, it’s just something different.”

“That we both enjoy.”

“Yeah…”

“Because we trust each other.”

Carisi considered, and some of the tension seemed to ease from his shoulders. “I like when you let me take care of you for a little while.”

“I like that I can be myself with you,” Barba answered quietly.

“Always,” Caris said, leaning forward to press a soft kiss to Barba’s lips. “Sorry, Raf, I didn’t mean to ruin the mood. I just worry sometimes, y’know.”

Barba ran his fingers through Carisi’s hair and smiled. “You’re a good man. The best, in fact. You didn’t ruin anything. One way or another, I’m eating those goddamn strawberries,” he added with a grin, and Carisi laughed. “And I get to fall asleep next to you.”

Carisi kissed him again. “I love you.”

Barba rolled his eyes. “I should hope so. You’re sitting naked in my lap.”

“My favorite place to be.”

“I love you, too. I might not say it enough but—”

“I know you do. I know.” Carisi cupped a hand to Barba’s face, stroking his cheek with a thumb. He searched Barba’s eyes for a few moments before raising the strawberry to his lips.

Barba opened his mouth without hesitation, touching the tip of his tongue to the hardened chocolate. Carisi pushed the berry between his lips slowly and watched Barba bite down. Barba chewed without rush, savoring the tangy sweetness, the snap and give, the juice on his tongue.

“You’re so goddamn hot like this,” Carisi murmured, and Barba’s chin tipped up slightly at the praise. Carisi shifted a little closer on Barba’s thighs and pressed the half-eaten berry further into his mouth. Barba closed his lips around it, sucking the last of the chocolate free before nibbling at the remainder of the strawberry.

Carisi dropped the stem into the bowl and lifted a new berry. Barba opened his mouth. He was already flushed down the middle of his chest, the pink color almost disguised by his dark curls of hair. Carisi didn’t need to look down to know that Barba had also begun to harden. It never took him long once they’d started.

Barba loved to eat, and he loved Carisi. He also loved the intimacy, even though he still had trouble putting that into words sometimes.

Carisi loved that Barba—who was the strongest, most self-contained person he knew—was willing to make himself vulnerable and let Carisi minister to him. Carisi wanted to provide for the people he loved, and it made him happy to be able to cook meals for Barba and relieve his stress after a long day.

This was deeper, though, something more meaningful. He would give Barba pleasure by feeding him, taking his own pleasure from watching the man he loved enjoying a freedom he’d never known before. Barba would suck and lick at Carisi’s fingers to get every morsel, and he would shiver under the warm swipe of the rag over his flushed chest and stomach. The two men would grow hard together as the berries slowly disappeared from the bowl.

Then they would take each other in hand, Carisi’s fingers around Barba and Barba’s fingers around Carisi, and they would put their faces together while they slowly finished each other off, and they would kiss as their bodies shuddered and heaved together. They would go to the shower together, and Barba would let Carisi wash him because he knew that Carisi enjoyed it.

They would go to bed together, each knowing they were loved and cherished and trusted.

The rest of the week would bring what it would—missed dinners because of late shifts, nights with little-to-no physical intimacy because of exhaustion or crankiness, forced socialization with friends and colleagues. No matter what, they would know they had each other, and that they could share themselves without fear. 


End file.
